Enjoying Yourself in Benidorm in Spite of a Stinking Cold.

The worst cold I´ve had for a couple of years neatly covered the exact period of my stay in Benidorm. It was the full Monty - sore throat, nose running like a tap, hacking cough, generally feeling like death barely warmed up. However, determined to do or die, off I went to the Benikaktus Hotel for a 4-day stay in the capital of glitz.

The view from the balcony on the 11th floor was stunning and I decided that I was going to enjoy myself, come what may. This was successfully achieved by freely imbibing a combination of paracetemal and hot lemon and brandy toddies. The happy, noddy-land result can be seen from my dozy expression at dinner on Christmas Eve. The following day´s Gala Lunch and Boxing Day´s visit to the Benidorm Palace were also experienced through a pleasant haze. Not that I would recommend a combination of booze and pills but when needs must......

The roast suckling pig was part of one of the buffets. I don´t remember which one, funnily enough. We had a weird mixture of weather in Benidorm. Violent winds on Christmas Eve, Well over 20 degrees on Christmas day morning and pouring rain in the afternoon. Boxing Day was grey and then sun again on the 27th. The show and dinner at the Benidorm palace were excellent, top class, and we were sent away with a complimentary bottle of wine . So a brilliant time was had, in spite of the odds against it. Still, New Year was OK , for me anyway. Unfortunately, my better half by that time had taken over my cold and you realise, of course, that it wasn´t just a cold. It was a MAN COLD, which is much worse, as every woman knows.

There follows a poem inspired by the visit to the Palace.
Happy New Year!!!

We met at the Benidorm Palace
He said he was from Stoke-on-Trent
At first I wondered without any malice
If he might be a teeny bit bent.

He´d togged himself up for the evening
DJ, red waistcoat, bowtie
And topped it with diamond man bling
An earring and pierced near one eye.

He said that he worked for the council
Something to do with the drains
And was in Spain for three weeks to study
How the sewers coped with heavy rains.

We talked over a bottle of cava
About families, jobs, credit crunch
Of holidays on Costa Brava
Then he asked me out next day for lunch.

He´s lovely, is Gary, the drainman
With his glitz and his bling and his hype
It´s just that, at times, in his white van
There´s a whiff that´s quite fishy and ripe.